Exits, graceful and otherwise

Well, the Dodger season is over, and it was a heckuva ride. Going further in the playoffs would have been a blast, of course, but I can't believe that anyone who carefully examined the Dodger roster can really be disappointed. A rookie catcher, a rookie left fielder, new faces at short, center, and first, no real third baseman until August, and a bullpen rebuilt enroute... this is not a playoff recipe. It reminded me a lot of the early 70's, when Campanis pieced together veterans (Dick Allen, Frank Robinson, an assortment of bad catchers) to keep things together until the golden prospects (Garvey-Lopes-Russell-Cey) arrived. Then things got better.

I have the same hope for this bunch; the kids that are up now appear to be for real, and there are a couple more hitters and several pitchers ready for their auditions. The next five years ought to be great fun.

And it helps a little to be able to say that LA went just as deep in the playoffs as the Yankees. The Boss' response was classic: he first issued a statement saying that the season was "not acceptable," then released a revised statement 90 minutes later, saying it was "absolutely not acceptable." Good thing that the housing market has cooled a bit now that Joe Torre will be shopping for west coast property again...

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So i guess there are fanboys, and there are boyfans. The latest spin on beloved Rep. Foley, the smooth-IM’ing Florida boyfan, is that he was abused by a priest when he was a kid. But, according to his lawyer, that (of course) doesn’t excuse his behavior… but (of course) it’s worth mentioning at a press conference, because (of course) it would explain why he’s such a damaged soul and such a victim himself (of course). Can you imagine the lawyers' conference: “Hmm, we’ve played the clergy abuse card, we’ve played the rehab card… can we put out a statement saying that he's 1/132 Iroquoi? Hey, if we could just leak that the LAPD planted DNA to frame him, we might not get Oprah, but maybe we could get Ellen!”

And while I’m reading this story, I’m listening to some old Oingo Boingo…

Only a lad, You really can't blame him
Only a lad, Society made him
Only a lad, He's our responsibility
Only a lad, He really couldn't help it
Only a lad, He didn't want to do it
Only a lad, He's underprivileged and abused
Perhaps a little bit confused

It's not his fault that he can't believe
It's not his fault that he can't behave
Society made him go astray
Perhaps if we're nice he'll go away
Perhaps he'll go away

Yes, Mr. Foley, please go away; perhaps in November we’ll send some more Grand Old Poseurs off with you… What? Oh, I’m sorry, did I forget to include the final line of the song? Well, I’ll let you find that yourselves…