The night they drove old Cuban down...

I'm not a big NBA fan like I used to be; I used to live and die with the Lakers, from West/Goodrich/Wilt/Happy/McMillian/Riley/Erickson down to Kobe & Shaq, it was purple (sorry, "Forum blue") and gold all the way. I remember Mel Counts, and Mark Landesberger, and Elmore Smith (good Lord, they think this post-dynasty Lakers team is bad? Does anybody remember that team, with Goodrich wondering where everybody else went?)... I remember listening to Chick Hearn on my buzzy little portable radio, describing yet another Finals loss to Boston, followed by the sponsor's theme song, "Richfield Imperial Boron, the mileage maker gasoline"... I'm not sure I've ever stopped in an ARCO station in my life, and I'm thinking that's why...

But it went south for me that last year, the Malone-Payton debacle; it was like bringing in David Spade or Jon Lovitz to save your sinking sitcom. And when that went south, my NBA passion went too. It was fun following the Clips this year, 'cause they've always been such great fantasy fodder; you (and your Mom, probably) could put together a better roster than they actually had (which makes Elgin's GM of the Year such an eye-roller; like the Kennedy Center honoring Charlton Heston). But the games themselves? Meh. I just didn't care. I'd rather watch hockey.

But the playoffs sucked me back in, especially when the teams I thought were locks (Detroit, San Antonio) fell out. If Stoudemire comes back (or never goes down), Phoenix runs away with it; if, if, if, if. San Antonio suffers from premature dynastitis; sluggish regular season and finally unable to get it up for the big run. Detroit; I have no idea what happened to Detroit. They looked unstoppable at the end of the season and early in the playoffs; I would have bet the house. A whole lot more fragile as a team than any of us thought. And Dallas... somehow, you just never thought Dallas had the stones for it. Like Sacramento during those prime Laker years, you just figured they'd Mickelson it, no matter how it looked early on.

Which left Miami. I'm a Riles fan, from the old LA days as a player; he was tough, he worked hard, he hit the boards at only 6-4, and he could get in people's heads on defense. Unless you've got MJ, you don't bet against Riles in a big game. They shouldn't have beaten Detroit, except for the time-machine effect; it was 2001 again for Shaq (28 & 16) and Billups (3 for 14). But could they stop the "new-NBA" Mavericks? Could they match up with the athleticism, the precision, the speed, the depth? Could they defend suddenly-all-world-Dirk?

Yup.

And a big hand for our newest member of the Bottom-of-the-Barrel club, Keith Van Horn. From 2nd overall pick, to another Iverson-sidekick-wannabe, to Can't-Get-Off-the-Bench in the last game of the season, for a team that desperately needed somebody who could shoot (37% overall, 5 of 22 from three). Relax, you say, the guy's like 42 years old, right? No, he's 30. He's only 30, and he's done. Oh the humanity...

I know, it's rightfully all about Wade today, but how interesting was Shaq's series? In six games, he managed to show Jerry Buss both why he should and why he shouldn't have offered the Big Aristotle the Big Extension. Shaq can't shoot free throws. Shaq can't jump even more than he couldn't jump before. Shaq can't play defense anymore, if he ever could. Shaq can't be on the floor for the last five minutes. Oh, and Shaq's team won. All he needed was (memo to KB) a partner who could drive, dish, and defer.

And I ended up watching the games, and TiVO'ing the Stanley Cup. Stern got me again.

Oh, and when Cuban hires Dan Rather for his HD channel, wanna bet Stern's the first interview?